If I had a NYC restaurant, I would name it Subway Problems. I’ve had a lot of issues with the subway since moving to Brooklyn, so it only seems right.

Here’s the hypothetical menu (a combo of mine and my friend’s’ ideas. We thought it was hilarious at least…)

Track fire fries 🍟

Pizza rat ratatouille 🍕 🐀

Empty subway car carbonara 🍝

Insufficient fare franks 🌭

Platform pancakes 🥞

Rail sludge shakes 🥤

“Showtime!” short cake 🍰

Brown bag “root beer” 🍺

Homeless home fries 🥔

Train traffic trail mix 🚊

Third rail hot chicken 🍗 🔥

Hehehhhhhhh hope that sparks a few more ideas for the comments below.